hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
