it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
