Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Let the clothes fall where they may.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
