I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Still dying that you shit outside
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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