did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
