I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I'm eating all of the evidence.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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