I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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