just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
