When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
