The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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