No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
