Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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