Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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