There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
