there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
