glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Randomize
