Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
