It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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