Define "chronic" masturbator.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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