I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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