After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
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