the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
