it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
