never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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