Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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