forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
