I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Who put my cat in the fridge?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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