this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
