Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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