If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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