my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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