i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize