we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
