i don't like sucking hair
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
