someone get that fucking seahorse.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
