Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
