singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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