he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
