I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
