From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
