she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
i out mim tonsoeep
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