We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Can I color on your dick again?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
