I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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