I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
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