'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
