He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
