I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
