You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
