Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
