I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
