his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
