Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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