literally had 100 drinks last night.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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