Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
