Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
