no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
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