Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
