How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
