she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
