You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
