He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize