Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
